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Twangballs

Questions and Answers with Wes Mcghee

Q and A

When were you happiest?
About 10 seconds before I was handed this Q & A form. Now my brain is starting to hurt.
What’s your earliest memory?
Being locked in the coal shed aged two and a half for some long forgotten misdemeanour.
How do you relax?
Reading, and watching cricket, sometimes both at the same time. Who says men can’t multi-task?
What would your superpower be?
I’d like ‘em all … invisibility, flight … the lot. However if I had to choose one I’d like the ability to understand and be fluent in every language on the planet.
If you could go back in time, where would you go?
Ancient Greece to hang out with Socrates. My ancient Greek is pretty basic so that’s where my superpower would come in handy.
What was your most embarrassing moment?
I exist in a state of perpetual embarrassment.
Cat or Dog?
Cat.
What’s your screensaver?
Our cats.
Favourite Book?
Don Quixote.
Which living person do you most admire?
Malala Yousafzai.
Which living person do you most despise?
The War Criminal Tony Blair.
What is your greatest fear?
The current state of the world.
I’m not overly fond of spiders either!
What trait do you most deplore in yourself?
The ability to put off till the day after tomorrow what I could do tomorrow.
What did you want to be when you were growing up?
To grow up and be a guitar player. I guess one out of two ain’t bad.
To whom would you like to say sorry, and why?
Can I have another piece of paper?
What do you owe your parents?
My perpetual state of embarrassment.
Aside from property, what’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought?
Probably a guitar or two.
Who would play you in a film of your life?
Marcel Marceau
What’s the worst job you’ve ever done?
A day and a half in an iron foundry in the sixties … long story!
What has been your biggest disappointment?
Failing to learn how to juggle.
What’s the worst thing anyone’s ever said to you?
‘Mr McGhee, I’m afraid you’ve got advanced emphysema.’
What single thing would improve the quality of your life?
Lungs!
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My appearances are too infrequent these days.
Guilty Pleasure?
Spanish food and wine.
Treasured possession?
My Spanish guitars. My books.
Bucket list?
Get a new bucket.
Fancy dress of choice?
Don’t be silly!
Tell us a secret.
No, it’s a secret.
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
It’ll probably be a large party, Homer, Mary Beard, Cervantes, Lorca, Roberto Bolano, Marquez, Picasso, Miro -- need I go on? Of course these invitations would be for purely selfish reasons, so, bearing in mind my civic duty I would simply invite the War Criminal Tony Blair and drown the bastard in the soup!
If you could bring something extinct back to life?
Decency.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
709 wickets for Chadwick Cricket Club.
How often do you have sex?
Every February 29th!
What keeps you awake at night?
Trying to figure out how long it is until February 29th.
When was the last time you cried?
Probably quite recently. Might have been one of those ads for a donkey sanctuary on TV, I have donkeys for neighbours they’re fine friendly fellows, anyway these days I get quite emotional, I’ll cry at a card trick … might be the drugs I’m on!
What makes you unhappy?
The news. Pretty much every day.
How would you like to be remembered?
The guy who got 709 wickets for Chadwick Cricket Club.
What song would you like played at your funeral?
Anything by George Formby … just kidding!
Tell us a joke!
I would have said Donald Trump, but it’s no longer a joke!
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